Something changed.
As you may know, I currently read "The universe has your back" by Gabby Bernstein. I don't believe that all of this works a 100%, but I know that when I live with an open heart, I recieve. That can be friends, love, gifts, new work possibilities, etc. A whole lot of that has happend last year and I am beyond grateful.
Yesterday I wrote with a Strala friend of mine who is a wonderful woman and life coach. I admire her so much, she is beautiful inside and out. Well, I asked if she had experience with supporting someone in their grief. I should have put that question differently, or maybe I did everything right. :-) She offered to be on my side here. I love this idea. I trust her and I feel connected so much to her life ideas. I am not sure why this happened, but I get the feeling it does have to do with me stepping aside and letting the universe take over.
Well yesterday we went out for lunch (incl. half a liter of red wine ;-)) and we didn't have one moment of pain. It was not even that I had to keep myself from not talking about things that make me sad. I just chose to talk about things that are positive and that he can respond to, like organizing my yoga classes. Somehow he can recall who is going to my classes. He thinks about how long newbies might stay and so on. It just feels so good to have something to talk about, that is important to me and where he can support me.
He also dropped a sentence, that I may accompany him to the doctor's appointment in 10 days, where we get to learn how much the 'thing' has grown in his head. I told him, I would be quiet if he asks me to. Just so happy that he is not keeping me out of this.
Today was a good day as well. I had two yoga classes which both had a totally different vibe and I loved the diversity in both groups. I have so many great ideas.
I came back home with a headache. Unfortunately he had the same. But he was and is at his house, so we both sit on each others couch and mentally hold hands. We are really good at this, we have practised it for years. I am feelling so much better doing it our way than listening to 'professional' people like the therapist. Trying to stick to this path.